before i met you i was not scared of dying kasi nothing mattered much. i had friends, family and a whole bunch of acquaintances or connections i could utilized but in the end i see my life as lived for others and not much of the "ME" part. i was a performer because i had the urge to satisfy the audience and their satisfaction was the drive for my passion. i was a leader because i had the urge to serve other people although unappreciated most of the time. i eventually let go since i was getting too much critique.
but since i met you, i laid low. i stopped the leadership, and i began to realize who i was. i sang for the last time shaking. since, i felt i should be talking or rather texting you than singing in front of an audience who won't even care. it was a one time show and before, it would mean a lot. but then, it was pointless. to be appointed as a vice governor, even though i should have been the governor, is still useless because i could spend more of my time with you.
so you see, i had the knack for you even though you thought i didn't. and i'm really scared of death more than ever. because i see that life ends with death. or not really but i don't want to think about that. the more i look back to how i tackled about death before, the more i realized i changed a lot. before death was a neutral thing to me. it just passes by. but now, it seems like a thief. and i'm scared it will come. kasi wala namang nakakatakas sa kamatayan. lahat tayo mamamatay din. yun un nakakatakot. ayoko.
kasi nandyan ka.
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