I can’t know everything and I may not know much
But I know I love you.
If you ask for advice and I can’t give one,
I’ll just hold your hand.
I’ll call you every night or probably even write to you everyday
But I can’t promise to always have much to say.
I’ll miss you every time we’re not together
And treasure every moment we have
I won’t forget to say goodnight before I sleep
Or good morning when I wake up.
I’ll learn to cook for you or even study to sing your favourite song.
I can’t do everything though, but I’ll do everything I can.
And if you feel that you don’t have anyone with you anymore, look again.
I’m there.
They say friends come and go, I won’t
They say people fall. I guess it’s true, because I fell for you.
Will you every fall for me too
If ever you do, where will we go?
Where will we end up?
Frankly, I don’t know. Together is all I can guarantee.
I can’t promise to love you much, but a love that will last.
Can’t promise you happiness either, but I’ll try to make you smile every once in a while.
Can’t promise to solve all your problems, but I’ll hug you every time you have one.
Can’t cheer you up every time, but I’ll cry with you when you’re sad.
I can’t promise to always be around, but I’ll never be too far.
Can’t even promise to love you forever, but I’ll love you with all my heart.
Can’t give you much and I may never be enough, but I’ll give you all I have.
I may not always say the nicest things, but I’ll always be true.
I would make mistakes sometimes, but I’ll make it up to you.
Can’t say that I’ll never get mad, but I’ll always understand.
Can’t give the best advices, but I’ll always listen.
I can’t be the perfect girl for you, but there’s nothing wrong in trying.
Can’t promise to never be afraid, but I would try to be brave.
But if you don’t, it’s okay.
I’m not expecting you to love me anyway.
Whether you say yes or no, it really wouldn’t matter.
Cause true love if it’s really true, it doesn’t need an answer.
I won’t ask you to love me too or anything, but I would ask for one thing.
Just let me love you.
That will do.

I don't know.

Another Bad dream

is haunting me. And it is getting more and more ugly. In the dream, I see a lot of people die. And I don't know them, but they are dying. And when I wanted to pay tribute to the lives of this people, someone full of ego and air in his head didn't want me too. It was a painful dream and I can feel my heart aching when I woke up from that dream. I wanted to go back to sleep desperately wanting ponies, rainbows and happy feelings but another bad dream came into the picture.

I was feeling alone again. This time with no one by my side. I kept thinking that it's all a dream and there's nothing more to it. Our minds only produce random thoughts and try to make sense of it. But it seemed logical as if by chance, those random thoughts are really related. They seem to give the perfect scenario of loneliness, defeat and depression.

My body's aching and My heart's in pain. You're the only one I could open up to. And I hope someday you'd be able to read all of this and tell me what am I suppose to feel. Right now, as I type this, I feel my emotions slowly drifting away - to some far off island. To be buried under the sand marked with the letter X. People think its a treasure but the X really meant keep out.

I want you here by my side although I find it hard to express. I don't want you depressed and I don't want to be the cause of your downfall. So I'd try to put my happy face and make you happy. But that doesn't make it any easier to me :(

I woke up

Totally confused and I didn't know what to do. Well, I wanted to call you and tried but all that answered was the fax machine or something. I saw that you weren't idle and since you said you didn't go to school, I think YM must have some bug or something to not make you idle. Because you always seem idle to me during those times in the morning.

I had to talk to someone. I felt as if the whole word was on my shoulder and as if I could fall down anytime. I felt as if I'd continue failing in my life because that's what happened in my dream. I lost my plane ticket to Hawaii and I was crying. You were there and you were going on a different plane. I think you wanted to be with me. But you couldn't because you were going to somewhere on the other side of the globe without me. You were going to follow your dreams which is good. But I was sad in the dream. Sad and scared. A little bit confused.

I remember that dreams also seem real and that it's hard to distinguish which reality is the 'real' reality. Sometimes I think that dreams are just dreams when in fact, I am half awake without complete consciousness. I am experiencing as if I am in a dream but I am awake. I just have the illusion that I'm asleep.

Picasso said what you believe is real. Descartes said what is rational is real. Or was it some other German Philosopher with a name that's hard to spell? I don't know. I think I'll make up my own saying someday on what reality is. Because even if you believe it is real, it may not be exactly reality.

What is reality anyway?

I don't know.

But you seem real to me. And please don't tell me this is a dream :(

You know me too well

And sometimes, I think my so-called 'clues' don't give you a clue either. So here I am stating that I want a necklace from you. And what kind of necklace depends on you. Irreplaceable, Always worn and a daily reminder of your presence and existence.

But it's not that I require you. I mean I hope you could arrive at this conclusion that this is the gift you want to give of me but a part me doesn't want you to know that this is what I want just because I said it. I want it to be something that lit up your mind like a light bulb.

And yeah. It was the orange lily I was eye-ing earlier :)

Love you to bits <3

Less than a week before your legalization babe :)

Finding One Thing Important

Doesn't mean you have to give up all other important things in your life. I learned that through the experiences and wisdom of other people. I learned that wisdom is the transformation of knowledge into something practical, to be applied. Applied Science therefore are Wisdom of the Science. But that's just me. I really don't know.

I never want to grow old thinking what if I took this path. I don't want you either to think that maybe you should have risked and challenged yourself through an open opportunity. I know we're still kids in their eyes, but that's the beauty of it. We could do whatever we want and still have time to fail, create mistakes, learn and continue on the path we need and want to take. It's not just about wanting but needing to do the things you want to do, despite the low salary.

In the end, money is just a tool for stability. Living in the edge while doing what you want is more rewarding. Providing for a family is also wonderful but before you could let others live their lives and interfere or create life, you must live your life in the best possible way with no regrets on the crossroads and paths that you choose.

I want you to take whatever path you may want to follow. We aren't really sure anyway if we would be together forever as much as we want to. But I can assure you that you will always be a huge part of me, of what I am and what I will be.

I will remember everything you taught me and everything we experienced together. And when the time comes when heaven is shining its glory upon us, I hope that I can be there to share my moment and see your moment. It's rare to happen in a lifetime. And we are of such breeds of rare individuals who are open to anything, are afraid but would be willing to risk it all for something we want to prove in ourselves. Something we want to do.

I don't know when you'll read this or if you will ever read this. But Thank You for allowing me to find the courage to chase after my dreams and pursue my desires. For helping me find myself and be myself again. Thank you for showing me pleasure, pain and disappointment. For letting me experience bliss, happiness, sorrow and wonder. For lending me your ear, your shoulder and your heart. For opening your soul to me and for allowing me to be a part of your life.

I appreciate it. Thank You. And I love you.

I'm afraid you'd forget me like you forgot everybody else who were attached to you, who found you valuable in your life. I'm scared that you'd distance yourself away from me at one point in time. That I'd be nothing that a memory washed away by the waves from the sand. I'm afraid of how temporary life is and how short it is. I'm afraid to be just a chapter in your existence.

A part of me what's to be everything you'd ever need while allowing you to venture out to the world determining the road you should take. I want to be the father who would welcome you back with open arms and make actions echo through the galaxy.

I don't know anything anymore. But what I do know is that I am madly in love with you. And this is not an erotic connection or a romantic experience, but a sure choice, a decision made with my heart and mind. A crossroad in my life when both my emotions and thoughts point out to one. That you belong with me.

MOVED

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i will keep this to make you remember my love ♥