happenings :)

okie. ang tagal tagal ko ng hindi nagboblog. since forever na yata ako hindi nagblog. so ano na nga ba ang nangyayari sa buhay buhay natin di ba? well, first of all i am proud to say we are happy people :) happy happy joy joy :D

last time i blogged was.. august 19. and today is august 31. ang tagal na talaga ng difference. rawr. parang di na talaga ako nakakaupo sa computer para lang magtype ng blog :P

august 20. been with you the whole day. holiday today kasi august 21 ay bday ni ninoy aquino and i dunno why they made it a holiday. duh! death anniversary yun. why do we celebrate death? hmm siguro kasi when you celebrate death you also celebrate the value of life. okie. makes sense to me. went to TRINOMA. remember passion fruit? :) sarap di ba. and i hope matapos mo yun sophie's world. sad story sya. well for me ha XD. pero asteeg kasi yun mga philosophical cheness dyan facts talaga :D

august 21. shucks. seventh month na natin no? pero parang normal day lang. siguro kasi everyday is special na din e. syempre ba naman kasama mo ang mahal mo :) astig no :)
thank you for loving me and accepting me as who i really am. i love you :)

august 22. hindi ko maalala ang nangyari noong araw na 'to. hmm. >.< wednesday to. basta naalala ako, ako nanlibre noong araw na 'to. kasi naurong. haha. :P defense yata namin to e :P at oo tama, i made all the things i need to pass today. including your englres paper. di ka kasi pumasok :( pero ok naman i finished them with time management ;D smile :D

august 23. evan almighty. gawd. now i understand why i wait long in line because i told God i want to be patient. and now i am given the opportunity to be patient. rawr. me no-likey waiting in lines. grr.

august 24. bad day. :( happy day at first but i was tired. at alam ko tired ka din. >.< tapos you walked with me in the rain. :,( im sorry if im insensitive sometimes. i really am. hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako ganoon. ang labo ko nga minsan e. as in sobra. pero thank you for being there for me. thru thick and thin. i love you.

august 27. wala dapat may lakad kami nila lea at paula kaso as usual at the last minute lea will continually disregard the honor of fulfilling her promise. aw.. sad. minsan nababadtrip ako sa kanya. i dunno why. naiinis ako. and i feel sick. actually during the whole weekend i did. >.< bakit ba laging walang pasok kapag monday?

august 28. ohmygoodness. :"> i am so touched today. the love of my life went to my house and cooked breakfast for me. although kinain ko sya for dinner. :D im sorry if i havent been much of a help to you these past days. sorry. i want to make it up to you! ano ba pwde ko magawa for you :D? and you waited for me. and i love you! :D i love corn. :D corn is love. :D

august 29. first day of examination :D NETANAL?! oh yeah. hindi ako nahirapan sa test pero sabi ni sir jess maka 70 lang daw ako sa finals GO GO GO 1.0 na ko :D at hindi ka nagINTRODB >.< rawr. but still, i am so going to take it with you :D hindi ka nagreview sa INTROAI T.T

august 30. naku. badtrip ako kay archie. di nilagay before 12 noon yun CD for FILDLAR. tapos sabi wala daw ako. naku. tapos si sammy naforget un chocottes ko. YACK LOSER :P gawd. i love your carbonara. :D kahit sabi mo creamy. masarap pa din :) and the chicken wee love love love sweet love. :D sarap ng chicken. dont worry. i took medicine when i got home :) no itchy bitchy pinkies. :D and HELLO PARADISE :D you want some? :D AMININ :D and sorry kung mabilis un sa FILDLAR na video >.< sorry.

august 31. today. im sorry for the wrong information about the ANMATH1 test. gr. if you fail it is my fault :( that is dala ng konsiyensya ko :( and i didnt become useful for your FILDLAR burning process :,( ang useless ko. pero ha! i love the fact we took a shower together :P hahaha :D weee. i like that. :D making forever start right now ha :D and he likes paradise :)

nga pa la, happy bday sa atchie mo :D and thank you sa lahat. sa concern. everything. :"> i love you. and you don't know how much i value everything about you. im not much of a showy person either. sorry :D and



i love you so much. >:D<

mood swings

something is wrong about me. i'm usually happy. most of the time, i mean. and i appreciate every bit of life i have within me. but for an optimist, i am quite the pessimist. i really don't know why. maybe it's due to the fact, i'm idle here at home. i'm sorry if i kept you waiting most of the time. knowing you're not quite patient (just like me), i appreciate what you do to me.

sometimes, i just don't appreciate what i do. that sometimes, i think i am not enough. that i can do more but i know some people are better out there than me. and that i am better than somebody else. but it hinders my determination. i am easily discourage and i am not the type of person who would really go for what she wanted.

i am not a brave heart. however, i would do anything if you want me to. i can change. really. i see myself change dramatically over the last seven months we've been together. and i thank God that i met you. i know i am changing for the better. i am becoming more patient. and life is beginning to unfold its simple joys with you. sometimes, i need to see it. it's like my paradigm is a bit blurred. maybe i need new glasses.

yeah, i just need new glasses.

composition

August 15 2007; Hate The Way You Love Me

under the moonlight
you kissed me from behind
i did not know when
you tried to hold my hand

the way you act, the way you care
all that i am seems to find you somewhere

and your kiss your touch
how you make me feel
how the world seems to stop and be so clear
how my life changed and you choose me
i never thought that i could be
so deep in love i heard my heart beat
and i hate you
i hate the way you love me

it didn't just happen
the sky's star were all aligned
and you said that you love me
in the sweet sincere way i want it to be

and your words your eyes
how you make me feel
how the world seems to stop and be so clear
how my life changed and you choose me
i never thought that i could be
so deep in love i heard my heart beat
and i hate you
i hate the way you love me

you'll risk your life, you live
you'd give me everything
how your love can consume
how it made me me
and it doesn't meant that i don't want you

cause the more you hate, the more i love you

and your words your eyes
how you make me feel
how the world seems to stop and be so clear
how my life changed and you choose me
i never thought that i could be
so deep in love i heard my heart beat
and i hate you

yes i hate the way you love me
because that's how i love you

hello love. minsan nakakapagod magtrabaho sa bahay or mastuck sa bahay. parang feel ko papayat ako pag walang pasok lagi sa school. even though every now and then kain ako ng kain :D

grabe parang ang dami ko namang ginagawa. naku naku. at least madami din akong natapos. ang linis na ng lugar ko sa Second Floor considering nabasa sya ng ulan dahil madaming bintana dito. and maayos na din ang cabinet ko.

tapos parang im running against time doon sa FILDLAR thingie namin. nako kailangan kong matapos 'to before anything else. grr. and i am all alone kahit ang dami kong kagroup. parang ako lang yun gumagalaw. OH well, asa naman ako. inuutusan ko na nga si joc e. wawa naman. haha nagiging bossy ako sa kanya. e kasi sya lang available utusan e. di naman online si lex at si nick tapos si chie madami daw ginagawa.

oh yeah. i am this considerate. and i want to be less bitter. i'll put all my bitterness in my little notebook and shut my mouth when i am about to say something.

yeah even in NETANAL. i am super going to listen kasi dinivide yun quiz into four parts and 25% each sya. tapos bawal makipag usap sa katabi. so whattheheck i need to listen to his blabs even though sometimes i really can't understand him.

hay drew. >.< i feel so tired of school work but im happy. parang im doing a lot and it drives me to do something. oh well manuel. im going to start the half blood prince and harry potpot. gwen's going to be a bookworm to. para hindi ko na maisip yun ibang bagay sa buhay na hindi naman dapat isipin like worth of a thing.

because you can make the most out of life if you don't think about the negative things. and yeah your birthday is coming up so soon. and i still don't have a present for you. gusto mo ng sayaw? haha :P joke lang. madedelay yun book kasi ayaw ibigay sakin ni mom yun money ko. grr. at wala pa din akong baon for how many weeks na? grr. >.< since forever na ata ako walang baon. :(( kawawa naman ako after all the plates i have washed. but then it made me stronger.

and i want more foot spa. grr. even though ako yun nagbabayad for my own massage, manicure, pedicure and foot spa. grr. bye bye 300 tomorrow. im going to miss you. sunday pa pala. hay ewan. :P

basta new lesson to be learned by gwen

be kind to other people,
even though they are not kind to you!

go me :D
and yeah.
i really love you :D

gising ka? >.<

it's raining

and i would want to get wet with you. ^.^

ayaw mo noon naligo na tayo together kaso under the rain nga lang. susunod under the shower na. ^^. haha. wish ko lang. kung pwede lang. SECRET!!!!!

ang sarap naman mabasa dahil dumaan ang sasakyan. kala ko embarrassing 'di pa la ^^.
ang saya din naman na kasama ka sa ulan. habang lumalakas. at sana mahulog ako ulit. kasi nahuhulog ako ulit e. sa sobrang pagmamahal mo sakin.

'di ko nararamdaman 'yong sakit ng mga sugat at ng mga pasa dahil pinupuno mo ang puso ko ng sobrang pagmamahal.

at mahal na mahal kita. ^_^ sobra!

drew, i promise you P-R-O-M-I-S-E that i would not get tired of loving you and being there for you. i will always be here waiting patiently, seeking what i really want in life.

after some time, i find myself not wanting anything not because i have everything.
i have you.
you are my everything.

what more could i wish for. what more could i want?
when everything i will ever want and ever need is mine.

and i am yours.

eternally.

Love Pasagot ^_^

:WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF::
1. I died:
2. I kissed you:
3. I lived next door to you:
4. I started smoking:
5. I stole something:
6. I was hospitalized:
7. I ran away from home:
8. I got into a fight and you weren't there?:

::WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY::
9. Personality:
10. Eyes:
11. Hair:
12. Family:

::WOULD YOU::
13. Be my friend?:
14. Keep a secret if I told you one?:
15. Hold my hand?:
16. Take a bullet for me?:
17. Keep in touch?:
18. Try and solve my problems?:
19. Love me?:
20. Date me?:
21. Sing with me?:

::HAVE YOU EVER::
22. Lied to make me feel better?:
23. Wanted to kiss me?:
24. Wanted to kill me?:
25. Broke my heart?
26. Kept something important from me?:
27. Thought I was unbearably annoying?:

::MORE::
28. Who are you?:
29. Are we friends?:
30. When and how did we meet?:
31. Describe me in one word:
32. What was your first impression?:
33. Do you still think that way about me now?
34. What reminds you of me?:
35. If you could give me anything what would it be?:
36. How well do you know me?:
37. When's the last time you saw me?:
38. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
39. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?

..stick figures..

i am not the best person to talk to about emotions because i also find myself drowned in them. i am not good in expressing emotions as words since i get lost in myself looking for the right words where in the end i do not find any to describe how i feel. i write a lot but it does not mean i am able to find the words that pack such great depth. i write in normal language, in lay man's terms. and this goes out to theater and all the other field of arts i have been through. in performing arts, you have a routine, lines to memorize and actions you have to express by heart. you put yourself in another person shoes not really yours. it is quite lucky if you find yourself doing the things that you really do. where like in the movies, you act as yourself.

in drawing, i am not really much of a Leonardo. neither am i a Picasso or a Van Gogh. i am more of myself. settling for a few strokes of lines, a couple of circles and curves. a little bit of emotion and inks from my pen. i am like that. when i can not find the words to speak, i express through figures. because sometimes, words are never enough to capture what i really want to say. that a couple of stick figures really does the thing.

i am not the most patient of all people. and neither am i the most persevere of others. i am still changing. even though i have changed. and i owe a lot of the improvement to you. i have been bitter since before, and now i think i am going to change that. i want to see the beauty of life through my eyes. that somehow, the whole world's essence can be captured when i look at myself in the eye. i want it to communicate that life is a big fairy tale we are all part of. that trials and sorrow all sum up to strength and joy. that happily ever after can come true.

and i am not giving up my childish views on life no matter how many people criticize me. simply because this pieces of junk have more essence than the criticism of even New York edition critics or even Paris can never amount to.

because i am beginning to be true to myself. i am not that appealing to people and some get intimidated by me. but this is who i really am and i do not want their attention. i just want to express what i feel. because i am me. i want to be me. i love to be me.

and please, never give up on loving me. please.

because i will never stop loving you. even after, my heart has stopped beating.
there is no death in love. neither is there life. only love. pure unconditional love.