nagresign si sir paul :(

sheepy will not see me tonight

i can not sleep because no one would wake me up or have follow-on calls to make sure i am awake. sometimes i feel that my body is giving up on me. that i maybe abusing it too much. we still have a quiz tomorrow and i think it would be best for me to fall fast asleep and wake up fresh. but what i am worried about is no one would wake me up.

maybe i should pray to God to wake me up. yeah. for now. i see sheep. i will go with sheep. monkey has left me earlier already. sheep can be my company for a while.

bioresearch

the yellow birdie was sad. he did something to make her upset. what could he have done? the other birdie did not want to talk. as the yellow birdie approach it went away. but they could not be apart from each other because they were in a cage. the cage was only for the two of them and they constant wanted their own space. yellow birdie wanted to be near her. but she didn't she wanted a long space between them.

he tried to explained and did as much as he could. he climbed lowering himself since wings keep you off the ground. at least when you climb you have something to hold on to and you can ensure yourself that you wouldn't always land on the ground. you can hold on and stay were you are. delayed but you can try again.

in the end, she saw that he was sincere with his apology and with this. he kissed her in the neck trying to say he wants her. after all, there is more when you have someone to share your life with.

hello

since you came back from palawan there was not a day that we would not see each other. we even slept together remember. i miss those days when i know you were beside me. :)

i really love you andrew. i would everything i am to you. :) i really really love you >:D<

i have a bestfriend but he doesn't seem to return my Message nor reply in YM. am i not a good friend?

touch ako. pinagdiinan mong GF mo ko today :D

hi there

if you are reading this, please call me as soon as you could. i really miss you. and i am so worried. don't ever leave me ok?! you promise. you told me you'd stay with me forever. please.

i can't afford to loose you. you're the only person i would love until the day i die. so don't leave me.

because you told me to sleep

and because i am an oh-so beautiful and loyal and understanding and obedient girlfriend.

yes, i would sleep. but before my weee hours in bed. i'll tell you the story of a bear. the bear was all alone in the forest. thinking that no one would love the him, the bear ventured deeper where he saw the cave. the cave was his hiding place. his santuary. everyday the bear took care of the cave. he placed fresh leaves everyday for his resting place. the cave had a waterfall inside where fishes flowed everyday. the bear need not to go anywhere else. except when the bear felt he wanted some berries. but the berries where just outside the cave. so he can pick them and go to the cave without anything or anyone entering the cave.

but one day the bear, saw someone get into the cave. and his privacy was shattered. the thing that came into it was a rabbit. and the bear didn't want to scare it off. the bear looked as it ventured deep within the cave. he followed the rabbit and saw that it drank at the waterfall he took care of. the waterfall he kept sacred. the waterfall he guarded. the waterfall that remained his and his alone.

but there was a rabbit. and the bear felt his whole self was shattered. broken down to pieces. pieces he can never pick up again. for this were the pieces that defined who he was. he was left broken in that cave. forever.

until..

to be continued :P haha. :D because i am sleepy and I NEED TO SLEEP :P

just because.

oh yeah. i am so desperate. depressed and all those words to use when one is deprive of real happiness. of true happiness. i learned today that humility is being true to yourself and knowing your capabilities and limitations and being able to let others step up. so there. new understanding thanks to Father Ed Villanueva who happens to be a very nice homily giver during mass.

gawd. i envy you. island hopping. rawr. someday i'll get to do that again. for the mean time, i will continue to sober in my bottomless pool of loneliness. i feel so alone. i feel betrayed. i feel every bit of me is being taken for granted by certain people.

at bakit nga lahat ng tao kala galit ako? kung hindi ko sila pinapansin and they don't cease to exist in my world then galit ako. pero hello, i talk to them and i reply if given the chance. but still. o well. people are so blurry. haha :P LABO! i'm tired. really tired. tired of sitting all day in the house with nothing to do but hope you'll reply to my messages when i know you won't cause there is super low signal in Palawan. bitchy network. grr. someday. i will yeah. someday. whatever gwen.

but WAAAH i still miss you. really bad. as in bad with the lust and the love and the greed and the gluttony and everything that means excess. absences makes the heart grow fonder. men, i am really fond of you.

tomorrow, i mean later, i'll watch the movie on my own and perhaps scout for some books to read for a while. i need to entertain myself so bad because being stuck in the house isn't helping me. it's making me think. i don't want to think.

i don't want to be angry anymore. i don't want to be scared anymore. >.< i want you and you alone. GIVE YOURSELF TO ME :) NOW NA! hahaha :P

second day

i didn't sleep very well and when i got home i was looking at both phones. i wanted to hear your voice but i was too afraid you'd be sleeping. you've waited long enough. i wanted to hear you say you missed me and you love me. i wasn't feeling better when i got home.

not that i wore heels cause i was accustomed to that manner due to ballroom dancing. but the fact that i went to a debut and didn't enjoy it. i didn't like the atmosphere and my tummy hurts. there was no mefenamic acid when i ventured the streets of Malate. neither was there a sign of you. everywhere i looked i remember you. from DOTA posters to BLUE colored places. from McDonald stands to Starbucks outlets. everything i saw reminded me of you. and how i wished text would travel fast so i could receive your reply.

now i know why i don't have a cellphone. it's because it makes me wait for you reply. it makes me wonder. i makes me think. that if the reply arrived early i'd be in total bliss and if it didn't maybe you're too busy. it makes me think of everything and anything while you are not with me. it makes me think of the time when we texted a lot. when i was expecting your reply despite the dozen of people who texted me. like all i wanted was for you to care. and not to constantly tell me stories about your highschool crush. *now you understand why im bitter* when i said maybe things could work out between you two. i didn't mean. of course i didn't want you to be with her. you deserve much better. you deserve me.

or so i think. with the numerous times i made you cry and the time i broke a promise and lied. the times when i didn't understand you. and the times you thought i didn't understand you. maybe you don't feel loved by me. if yes, i need to be better.

when you said you wanted to fix your life for us to be together again, i was afraid. afraid you'd grow to fast and think i'm so yesterday. so immature and so boring. i was scared of losing you. i know you'd go far. you'd succeed in life. you can do anything you can. and i sometimes think if you didn't meet me you'd still be an achiever. even if you don't come to class. sometimes, i think i'm a distraction. that you should be doing something much better other than talking to me or being with me. you need personal space. i should give it to you. i don't want you to be tired.

i'll give up everything for you. my hopes, my dreams and everything that defined who i was. i can give up things i could never give up before just for you. i can do everything you want me to do. just love me. i want you to love me. i need you to love me. not because you don't. i just want to say it.

i can't afford to loose you. but if i did. i'd do anything to get you back.

palawan

hi there. you are in the longest strip of island here in the philippines. strip nga ba tawag doon or what? basta the third largest island in the philippines next to luzon and mindanao.

gusto ko sa palawan kasi fresh air. at may matutulugan akong malapit sa diving area. well di malapit talaga pero malapit sa daungan kung saan nandoon yun bangka papunta sa diving area. basta gets mo na yun. at syempre makikita ko yun mga whale shark, shark at mga pawikan :) kasi 100 meters ata yun. pero wala pa kong Advance Diving Permit kaya. BOO. kukuha na talaga ako ng course na yun. 2 months puro diving lang. basta magleleave ako someday. haha ;P or pagkagraduate :D para lang makapagdive anywhere in the world :)

gusto ko sa Malapascua Island, down in Mindanao. :) para cool diba :D i got my license in Cebu Mactan. the youngest girl to get her license ever for Open water Diving. :) pero what the heck.

grr. nagkatotoo yun sabi ko. as usual. na nagkaroon ako habang wala ka para GAME na kapag nandito ka. pero ang hirap pa la. unlike before na i had someone to care for the pain i feel now i dont. i know you care pero since wala ka. wala talaga akong makausap. i am so dependent on you. and i know you like it. haha. ikaw pa. YOU ARE SO POSSESIVE. i like din naman e.

so nasa crocodile farm ka? gusto ko touch yun crocodile as in yun mouth! :) tapos kiliti ko. haha :P kakagatin kaya ako noon? pero natouch ko na tail ng crocodile. pero baby lang. sa thailand. tsaka cobra. pero walang venom. cool kaya. hahaha. parang wala akong takot sa animals except for frogs. at gusto ko patayin ang dolphin! HMPH! nakakairita!

hay. nasa palawan ka. and im here stuck in my comfy bed wishing you are here by my side. kahit nagiisnorr ok lang basta alam kong nandito ka sa tabi ko. kasi my tummy hurts. i want you to take care of me. please. let me be your baby. haha ibaby mo ko kahit paminsan minsan :(

wala lang miss na kasi kita e. *tears*