..stick figures..

i am not the best person to talk to about emotions because i also find myself drowned in them. i am not good in expressing emotions as words since i get lost in myself looking for the right words where in the end i do not find any to describe how i feel. i write a lot but it does not mean i am able to find the words that pack such great depth. i write in normal language, in lay man's terms. and this goes out to theater and all the other field of arts i have been through. in performing arts, you have a routine, lines to memorize and actions you have to express by heart. you put yourself in another person shoes not really yours. it is quite lucky if you find yourself doing the things that you really do. where like in the movies, you act as yourself.

in drawing, i am not really much of a Leonardo. neither am i a Picasso or a Van Gogh. i am more of myself. settling for a few strokes of lines, a couple of circles and curves. a little bit of emotion and inks from my pen. i am like that. when i can not find the words to speak, i express through figures. because sometimes, words are never enough to capture what i really want to say. that a couple of stick figures really does the thing.

i am not the most patient of all people. and neither am i the most persevere of others. i am still changing. even though i have changed. and i owe a lot of the improvement to you. i have been bitter since before, and now i think i am going to change that. i want to see the beauty of life through my eyes. that somehow, the whole world's essence can be captured when i look at myself in the eye. i want it to communicate that life is a big fairy tale we are all part of. that trials and sorrow all sum up to strength and joy. that happily ever after can come true.

and i am not giving up my childish views on life no matter how many people criticize me. simply because this pieces of junk have more essence than the criticism of even New York edition critics or even Paris can never amount to.

because i am beginning to be true to myself. i am not that appealing to people and some get intimidated by me. but this is who i really am and i do not want their attention. i just want to express what i feel. because i am me. i want to be me. i love to be me.

and please, never give up on loving me. please.

because i will never stop loving you. even after, my heart has stopped beating.
there is no death in love. neither is there life. only love. pure unconditional love.